07072025. good morning flounder

the best part of that movie was when johnny was literally driving frankie insane and she was screaming at him to get out, and goes I WANT TO BE ALONE. I WANT TO WATCH MY VCR. I WANT TO EAT ICE CREAM. I WANT TO GO TO SLEEP

"a coffee in berlin" did much better at lonely people representation

07062025.

Frankie and Johnny is SOOOO WEIRD

cried a little bit at planet fitness

07052025.

I slept for 12 hours!!!!!

@punkreflex is making me want to read stoner, i started reading it two years ago while dating [] (it was his favorite book) and then he left the state and I gave the book away (¬_¬”)

you know when you pull up to the local music thing and it's just 9 white people who all know each other and also it sounds kind of bad. sorry if that's mean. I'm just jealous

╮( ˘ ､ ˘ )╭

tomorrow watch "Frankie and Johnny"

###conversation with [difficult to explain friend] downtown tonight

me: (noticed him) oh hey

[]: hi

me: how are you

[]: nice nice

me: you want some juice

[]: yeah

(we walk to the corner to cross the street to get to the cafe but I forgot he won't cross the street without the pedestrian light so now I'm at the cafe and he's just standing at the corner. now he's turned to face the opposite direction and I hope he didn't forget that we were going to the cafe. I trust him to remember, and go into the cafe myself because now the pedestrian light has come and gone, he's still facing the opposite way and I don't feel like yelling at him. when I come out with the juice he is here)

[]: it's good to see you. or something. I don't even know what the word is (I really understood him in this moment)

me: yes it's nice to see people you know

[]: so what was your age

me: i'm 26. what about you

[]: i'm 29

[]: when's your brithday

me: June 21. a couple weeks ago. what about you

[]: June 27

me: oh nice happy birthday. so it just passed

[]: yeah. that's what I was told

me: did you celebrate or anything

[]: yeah. I just walked around

me: that's what I did on my birthday too

[]: do you have a boyfriend

me: no. I don't really like boys right now

[]: you like girls?

me: I don't know. I don't really like anyone

[]: are you a virgin?

me: no and that's a weird question

[]: oh. that's been coming up a lot. I try not to come off that way. and do illegal stuff. like running a red light you know what I mean

me: yeah

[]: (something about the character mushmouth from fat Albert. I got worried he was going to tell me I remind him of mushmouth because he often compares me to movie characters)

[]: do you have kids

me: no do you

[]: no. but I have plans

me: to have kids?

[]: yeah something like that

[]: would you ever marry someone who looked like me

me: no because I don't want to marry anyone

[]: (thoughtful distant look)

[]: I think I know him (looking at person crossing the street) I think I went to high school with him

me: oh yeah you grew up here

[]: yeah I went to [high school]. you know where that is?

me: not really but i've heard of it. it's kind of outside of [town] isn't it?

[]: no it's in [town]. I mean it's far if you're walking. but anything could be far. like that could be far (points at trash can five feet away)

me: yeah like if you were this big (using my index finger and thumb to evoke the idea of a four inch tall person) and you had to walk all the way over there

[]: ... see sometimes when I talk it messes you up

me: no i'm not messed up

[]: ... (recycles juice bottle) good to see you (leaves)

(he comes back like five minutes later)

[]: so if two people come out of the same tummy or like vagina or whatever, can they have a baby

me: I mean they could but the baby might have problems

[]: like if they come out the same tummy or vag it'll always be like that? or is that like, made up?

me: I don't think I understand what you're asking

[]: I'm just wondering if you've seen that before

me: no I haven't seen that before. I don't think it happens very much

[]: what about ants? if they come out the same one then what happens

me: I don't know

[]: (points at my phone) can you look it up?

me: (googling ant reproduction)

me: (summarizes results)

[]: (visibly pleased) ok. cool. have a good day, maybe

07042025. good morning flounder

was just listening to this Sufjan Stevens song thinking to myself, wow i'm enjoying this Sufjan Stevens song, and then he goes "you checked your texts while I masturbated" ... -_-

alone day ingredients/goals

*true alone time (chess, violin, read)

*alone around strangers (coffee shop, gym)

*intentional interaction (???) (call?)

*deep clean something (stove)

*other: drop off compost, take out trash

oh God now he's literally singing "we're all gonna die" -_-

"the queen's gambit" moment lol

she momentarily considered walking into the town, where she heard there were a dozen places to drink beer, but thought better of it. she did not want to erode any more brain cells...she would get some coffee (p. 149) yeyuhhh

alone day update: just watched "a coffee in berlin"...niko finally got the coffee! ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡)

07032025. good morning flounder

chess and coffee with the moving soon friend <3 (to champaign on the 14th)

staying in town alone this weekend. Instagram lady said the recipe for perfect alone day is 1/3 true alone time, 1/3 alone around strangers, 1/3 intentional interaction

of course I am in town alone always but in a more powerful way this time (holiday weekend)

07022025. good afternoon flounder

conclusion to the story of the book i left in the rain...despite spending days placing and replacing paper towels between pages, despite the freezer, the pages have started to mold. the book was eros the bittersweet. (G said: what is desire, if not a drenching?) the damaged interlibrary loan bill: $43.33

at work feeling weird. reading "the queen's gambit," not great