as if I might escape

I look at train schedules

to places I won't travel to

plan what to pack

what to wear

map routes down roads

I won't walk

past parks and ugly apartment buildings

that have small cafés at street level

figure out where to get snacks

and which shoes fit best

as if I might escape

this constant battle

this constant struggle

to become who I want to be

when instead of support

my efforts get quietly sabotaged

my character undermined

my self

erased

Source