Okay, let me just start by setting the record straight: this was NOT my idea.

Also, I still have no idea how you convinced the General to sign off on this.

Yes, I am aware he made it very clear my I am supposed to do here, but I am

also not the one who started the quantum communicator without asking if I'm

ready or not.

Fine, fine! I will get on with it. I am Tom, head researcher of the quantum

physics department within the applied sciences division of one of the

military's research compounds. Which is just a long-winded way to that I do

science stuff for the military. I am sending this messag--

Oh, pardon me, how could I forget. I am also joined here by Merideth, my lab

assistant, and *we* are sending this messag--

Okay, what's wrong now?

It's not my fault you don't have a long fancy title like me, bring it up with

your supervisor!

While I may be your immediate supervisor, I am not about to change your title

just so everyone across time and space will think you are special.

No, no, of course you are special. Alright, you can be -- the executive

assistant of the quantum physics department. Does that work? Can I continue on

now?

Ugh, there is no pleasing you. Fine, I am Tom the military science guy joined

with the *executive* assistant of the quantum physics department within the

applied scienes division, Merideth, and we are sending this message to

formally welcome communication from all who are listening among the stars. We

wish not to hid-- Do I really have to do this? This is such a long speech, and

literally anyone else on the base can read this off.

You're right, yes, the General did appoint me himself to do this. Alright,

where was I... formally welcome blah blah blah listening stars. Ah, there it

is: We wish not to hide ourselves from you but to act in solidarity as one of

the many voices to be heard across time and space to join the cosmic

conversations and leave are mark as we all embark on this voyage together. I

look forward to joining you all and seeing where these events will take us.

Merideth, why does this say that I am the one who will be handling all of this,

I don't have time to work on this and continue my research.

What do you mean I no longer have to worry about my research, I just made a

huge breakthrough in our understandings of quantum mechanics!

On what authority were you able to cancel my research, you're just a lab

assistant!

Oh I just said you were the "executive assistant" so you would let me continue

the broadcast, you don't have any way to prove I even gave you that promotion.

It's just you and me inside this room and no one else is listenin-- Oh my God.