###07.07.25
had a super really good weekend this weekend :))))
about to make my big yoga return tho it will be bigger when i return what my counterpart
###07.01.25
new page on my green girl cal unlocked. this one is river and it may be my fav.
###06.25.25
attending the weddings of my second cousins have been kinda formative experiences for me. (another one just got engaged woo)
get your friends into a band w/ u cuz then u can make a google cal that lists all ur vacations-helpful!
last night I attended my 5th cardinals game of the season. prior to this season, I had attended 4 mlb games total in my life. working on building out my gear collection which is fun I think I secured a souvenir cup last night. also it was a great game!
some of my work IT stuff isn't working rn so I'm just killing time with all my lil thoughts on flounder. also I don't know if we're allowed to go into the temp office rn cuz we may have moved out while I was on vacation and it's not great that I dont know so I'm too afraid to ask.
###06.24.25
catching up on emails but even more catching up on flounder cuz I'm back in the stl! thankful to have a life where I can go on a super exciting vacation but still feel so happy to return to where I live cuz I luv my life and people in stl. It's a gud gratitude morning.
###06.06.25
trying to anticipate my own needs a lil less cuz really it's all good
###06.04.25
someone went thru my car last night & the only thing they took was a penzeys gift card (appx $16) that said “kindness works” I hope they enjoy a new seasoning salt.
@mothbaby I have one of your chairs from the ballpark in the back of the car. they did not take that.
###05.27.25
Healing powers of nature = real. Was mentally not at my best last week but after the long weekend I am in a better place.
Camped for the first time in years and walked away from that feeling grounded and connected to my friends :)
On Sat & Sun I more or less did nothing, but in the like reading, drawing, yoga type of way—rather than the sit on your bed and watch reality tv way that I feel like I have to do the lil breaks during busy times.
Then the boy and I tried to go to Taum Sauk but somehow ended up at Johnson's Shut-Ins (my first time there) and we went swimming! Which is what I wanted to do all along but thought the weather might be too bad. That area is the prettiest part of MO! (of what I’ve seen)
###05.23.25
I just made my fuffiest pot of quinoa ever!!!!! Don't give up on your dreams.
###05.22.25
wow I almost misses 5/22. Happy 5/22 to me and all who celebrate.
###05.21.25
Had a crazy dream where my hs friend (covid falling out) came back into my life and it was this weird are we good or not thing then this person turned into the joker (I didn’t do this on purpose. Being too myself in the subconscious) then I was kinda Batman but it was a crazy and scary chase-around situation. Scary! Evil laughing! Before that in my dream I was playing trombone in the band, like a high school band but it was also kinda symphony vibes, and my boss pulled me aside and told me that people have reported that I’m playing the wrong notes and implied that I didn’t know how to play and so I felt bad and promised I would go home and practice.
My power was out for 2 days. My neighbors hooked my refrigerator up to a generator for part of it. Trying to decided how to navigate my grocery situation. Feeling overwhelmed. Open to suggestions.
###05.04.25
I might get put on a committee to help select and place art when we move back into the new building at work! It was cool for me to feel how excited I felt by the opportunity. Perhaps I do enjoy working in the visual arts after all.
###04.28.25
did a bad job and broke my work boundaries and worked some today, a day that I was supposed to take off ahead of a really crazy week, but I kinda had to sadly cuz we thought our driver was last min out for the week and I was SCRAMBLING to cover for that which was a very overwhelming. BUT. In a lovely unexpected turn of events we got word that he is back in!!!! while it would have been nice to not have had to do the scrambling I did this morning, and low key in the back of my mind all weekend, it is such a HUGE relief for the rest of the week that I am mostly just feeling thankful.
I'm writing this post just to let my brain transition out of overwhelmed-work-mode so I can be in day-off-mode for the rest of the afternoon and evening.
###04.27.25
my new couch is a destination
###04.26.25
"It's time to meet your new baby sibling"
-me introducing my laptop to my new couch
###04.21.25
On Saturday night (4/19) I had a vivid dream where I thought of a brilliant party idea and I guess I was a little awake during the dream because I thought to myself "this is so cool I and I could totally do this in real life........" Can't remember the idea :/
###04.02.25
They used to say Tinky-Winky, Dipsy, Laa Laa and Po
—March Below—
I started this thing where I say I’m chill guys and I’m not even lying or telling a joke. I am chill at the times when I say that and saying it helps me keep the chill going in a positive way. Now I am more ready to identify this chillness in myself and communicate it to those around me.
Get out of here March!
Job annoying. How old is too old for coffee?
I don’t want to know.
##03.30.25
judged by my married millennial co-worker friends
##03.23.25
I will never stop “having a hard time adjusting to daylight savings”
##03.21.25
idk March
How did I run out of shampoo and conditioner so suddenly at the same time. Abrupt to say the least.
##03.17.25
Called the flower shop in my hometown to ask them to deliver flowers to my mom today for her birthday. It's honestly so clutch cuz they're just a few blocks away so they can easily do day of deliveries. They also say things like "I know what she likes" cuz they know her. I always get a reaction when I tell them my billing address is in STL. This time it was "Oh you're in St. Louis huh?" which was cute. The kids who leave my hometown for cities usually go to New York, Pittsburg, or DC so no one has any quips prepared for STL.
##03.10.25
I am learning the stories of the most famous NBA players via HBO and YouTube documentaries.
##03.02.25
I am so so so thankful I got time off yesterday. Honestly can’t believe my good fortune. I got to do Mardi Gras for the first time in years AND I was able to fully enjoy the @idi birthday celebration! Beautiful fun day.
##03.01.25
Shortly after I posted that yesterday I started balling. My hardest work cry yet. There have only been like 3 in almost 2 years, which is just to say it does take a lot for me to get to that point. I’m not even a little an ashamed of it, and honestly I’m really proud of my shamelessness. I got to leave that morning rehearsal a little early.
But my boss re-evaluated things post-cry and now I have a tonight off which is a HUGE win.
##02.28.25
Work rant—I just need to put this somewhere:
I kinda killed it at work yesterday (13 hour day) but today I am extremely tired. It’s burnout. I also feel emotionally fragile. And it sucks because in my job I have to suppress all of that to the best of my ability so I can be warm and welcoming and sharp for guests. I have 21 guest artists I’m dealing with this week. Usually it’s like 2, then 10 on a bad day.
The thing that’s weird this morning is I feel like people are tip toeing around me/trying to act like things are normal. I wasn’t necessarily expecting that. I’m in the mood to go off about how ridiculous this all is—but at the same time I’m also really trying to keep it together and be professional and do a good job. People kinda avoiding me makes me worry a little that I am coming across in a bad way, like just tired and off. But also like you can only suppress so much and they are the ones that put me in this position.
Also I’m annoyed that the crew didn’t order a lunch for me. I’m jealous of their union protections.
##02.27.25
Gathering my things and carrying them from my car to my apartment is an emotional challenge that I overcome every day
##02.26.25
I'm in the middle of an intense time at my job -blah lame but tru- and it started to get to me a bit Saturday night/Sunday morning. I tried watching 30 rock for the first time to see if it would get my mind off things but quickly realized the page character is technically me at my job. It wasn't the right content for that moment.
copying @idi and sharing a link to a song
##02.20.25
RHOA started so strong and really just got better and better overall for 7 seasons. I'm starting season 8 and I fear this may be where we loose that momentum. Keep me in your thoughts as I grapple with disappointment.
One of my favorite lil facts is that the variable for momentum is p. There's no p in momentum but it just feels so right. I have always loved that.
Things went awry at work today with this one thing. I'm working on letting it go, but I won't be able to fully put it behind me for like 2 more days.
##02.18.25
last week I texted my friends "spanking water" and didn't even know it
all I want to do is sit on my couch and ball yarn
##02.16.25
Good news: my new tote perfectly holds all my instruments
##02.10.25
Let the record show that my sister visited STL last weekend and we have a fun time!
##01.30.25
Sat down at my big loom last night for the first time in months. I'm starting some little projects that are easy and fun.
##01.25.25
Did today on 3 hrs of sleep which ofc isn’t ideal but I will say it brought me to an unexpected level of chill in the afternoon that I very much enjoyed
##01.21.25
@big-green-girl reminded me that right now is good time to delete social media. Thankfully I haven’t had tick tock in a while so I could side step that heartbreak. This time I deleted Facebook too. Clean sweep.
My algorithm was looping me in with the same clips of Drag Race that I cannot resist then following that up with influencers pointing out that something about my appearance is bad and trying to sell me something to fix it. Terrible! Gross.
Our brains are not supposed to take in the amount of content we have at our fingertips.
Over the summer I was really intentional about managing the content I consumed and it felt so refreshing. At the time I wondered if I would get back into Instagram reels in December when my job gets more intense. That did happen haha. But it’s ok. I’m just happy to be back to a better place with it all now.
##01.08.25
It is the new year, and I am about to have my personal new year (birthday). Two things:
1. My biggest lesson of 2024: You have to feel your feelings you can’t just “fix” them.
2. A few goals/resolutions for this year: Take myself less seriously, Listen, Develop a discipline, Respond to emails quicker (professional)
##01.01.25
Aye yai yai
^took a while for me to figure out how that's spelled
#I think I was intimidated by flounder but now I am pretty sure I am not
###12.30.24
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