Mental Paralysis
I am paralyzed mentally; not physically, and I don't mean to amplify what I'm talking about to the level of someone who actually does suffer from that. I just don't really know how to describe what I feel in any other concise way.
In a lot of ways, I feel like I cannot move and I can't tell if it's my fault or the fault of something else. I went to therapy for the first time last week, and I have my next appointment tomorrow - yay! I talked quite a lot about one thing, exactly this. She mentioned that it sounds like I'm experiencing a value crisis and I think that sums it up quite well. I am stuck where I'm at because all the paths I can currently take go against what I believe, and what's more, the people urging me to take those paths are the same ones who taught me to be conscientious about my life choices and that what you believe is more important than anything. This has lead to me not being able to do anything, but that's not really a choice.
Has anyone else experience this? I will elaborate if necessary.
Cheers,
~jr
Replies
Looks like depression.
Also obviously you know what to do. Good luck finding strength and will to do it.
The illusion of free-willed individuality turns out to be quite the burden.
Yeah I've experienced that stuck feeling before. Maybe for a different reason but definitely similar symptoms. I always stopped myself from pursuing anything because I always believed the movies where someone found their true calling, and this just never happened for me. I ended up realizing though that I don't have to follow the path set up for me, or follow my instincts either, r that I can choose to become whatever I think is interesting and want to become part of me, and I don't gotta box myself into one thing.
Do you find yourself in a similar position as me or is it different?
~theo
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