steve_dracula on Station
author: steve_dracula
2024-01-12 21:25 UTC
Based on the child's reaction to me bellowing "No, *I'M* gonna shit your pants", I'm pretty certain that I have finally mastered parenting.
2023-12-06 15:38 UTC
Secret hint: When trapped in the bathroom, spam your wife with Beavis & Butthead GIFs until she figures out that you need TP for your bunghole.
2023-11-30 12:01 UTC
My wife is refusing to get me additional wives for my birthday.
2023-11-16 12:08 UTC
Ladies Love Shoulder Hair
2023-10-26 10:38 UTC
Cheap entertainment: when talking to. A Car Person, refer to one of the various car fluids as "juice".
2023-09-07 11:10 UTC
I have several children, but zero of them would like their names changed to Igbert Wigbert Pigbert. Parenting is an unending string of disappointments.
2023-06-20 10:53 UTC
Morning earworm: Springtime for Hitler. I hope I don’t start singing it on the train. Or that I do. Whichever is funnier.
2023-06-08 14:49 UTC
It would be cool if the air had less fire in it.
2023-06-02 11:55 UTC
Found a scotch bonnet salsa at the farmer’s market last week. I liked it on its way in, but I do not like it anymore.
2023-05-03 23:10 UTC
Today’s disappointing Spellbinding non-word: helicycle.
2022-06-01 13:14 UTC
Secret hint: the constant evangelizing is why nobody likes evangelicals. It’s right there in the name.
2022-05-15 23:06 UTC
Suspicion: If my wife ever stops speaking, she will instantly die.
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